Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Bailey's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, April 28th, 2002
2:38 am	Blah...... I hate feeling alone, I really do. Anything that leaves me out or excludes me is bad! I don't know why, but I am thinking about alot of stuff right now. I hate thinking too it always gets me into trouble. I just can't believe the fucked up way things have been hapening in my life right now. I'm happy while I'm here but that ends tomorrow. And even if for some weird reason I stay It won't make anything better. I'll just be running from my problems.... again. I don't wanna run from this problem I just don't want it to be a problem anymore. Why did she have to come back so soon and why couldn't I be the person to change his mind about Tiffany. I know I'm a horrible friend but she's a bitch and a slut and why should she always get what she wants when she has what I want and take advantage of it too the fullest extent. She will ruin him for anyone else and I hate her for that.I still feel alone even tho I'm here, I guess it's ennevitable. Maybe I'll be alone forever. Wouldn't suprise me. I feel soo alone when I actually think about it. I hate myslef, I hate my life and tomorrow I have to go back to it. I don't want to. I really don't have to either but I really should. In all actuallity I miss Doug, It's sad and pathetic, but I can't help it. I miss seeing him around the house when he's not there, The only time I don't want to see him is like the passed week. I HATE HIM!!!!!! I can't even decide right now. Whether I hate him or not I still like him and I guess in a way you could say I'm in love with him in a kind of sick and twisted way. Well I have to prepare for my long Journey home. To all of you I have seen I hope to see you soon and bye bye Current Mood: pessimistic Current Music: Mario bro's theme music (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 14th, 2002
3:55 am	I know I haven't written in a while....... But I really need to vent. Life sucks ass. To say the least! I need friends right now and that's not really what I have. I mean Molly is right here, but I'm sure she's tired of hearing me bitch. And I don't have Martha because #1 She has Caleb...... Caleb Jose Medrano a healthy baby boy born March 27th 7:14am 2002 6lbs 13oz 20in long. and #2 I can't really talk to her about this. And everyone else sucks around here!!! It is really hard to find a good friend around here! Well... Here I am sitting here at Molly's house trying to get drunk... It's not working yet, While the guy I am maddly crazy over is at a hotel with 2 of my good girlfriends and 2 guys. I know it sounds funny but tonight was junior prom. Casey and Carissa are at hotel with Zac (Carissa's date) and Chris (Casey's b.f.) and Doug (my Doug) whose trying to prevent Carissa from doing anything with Zac. It's a long horrible story where I do alot of crying. I have all these feelings for Doug and no one seems to notice how serious I am about this but me. I know it would never work between the two of us because: #1 he's 21 AND I'm 16 (17 IN 3 WEEKS ~yAy GUYS!) #2 he's been dating (currently broke up with one of my good friends who cheated on him with his cousin) for almost 2 years. #3 friends and family wouldn't approve #4 I feel he is using me as a replacement for Tiffany (ex) and I get all the work none of the perks. I hate myself for letting him do this to me but I know it's ahppening and I can't help it. And the worst part about it is that I'm at Molly's right now. Atleast at home I would know when Doug got home. and I would fall asleep and not stay up all night crying like I do every time I'm here. I hate guys!!!!!!!! Especially Doug Because I can't hate him! I need a vacation I need to move!!! Aunya if you read this I'm trying to come visit..... for a long time. as soon as I can I will. I just don't know what to do because I can't talk to anyone about this. and I have no privacy at home. Everywhere I go there's someone there. And I basically live with 3 men. (Tyler, Jacob, and Doug) You know, since I know that there's nothing between me and Doug except a fooling thing I know I shouldn't be upset, and I wouldn't be I mean I have liked Doug for almost 2 years now, but it's the fact that it's Carissa, my friend, or is it that he hits on every one of my new friends that I bring home. I thought Bacardi 151 was a lot more potent than this! Men should be shot.... no offence to the men reading this. Well anyways I'm starting to feel the buzz I'mna go now bye bye Current Mood: jealous Current Music: some loonytunes theme (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 4th, 2002
11:33 am	hola guys Gee I need my comp. back now!!!!! I miss it badd!!! Current Mood: bored Current Music: i dunno ppl in here are weird!!! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 4th, 2001
9:06 pm	Wowzers! Gee I haven't written in a long time but there has been alot of bullshit going on lately. Well first of all Alex ended up in the hospital with a broken collar bone and a broken shoulder bone. he has to have surgery friday. Owwie! but Alex is stupid anyways. it's his fault! Him and Jacob stole a dirt bike and they have wreckd twice now. And this last time Alex got Majorly hurt. Larry wrecked on his dirt bike too. He's in intensive care with bleeding on the brain.... Let this bee a lesson to those of you who don't wear helmets going over 60! Fats and Chris got into a fight with Josh and Jimmy. Final damage = Jimmy's arms are all beat up, Josh's head and ears are all beat up from being kicked by 10 guys, Josh's car windows were bashed in and the paint has been scratched off the back bumper. Chris is back in jail, he's going to jail, 3rd stike! Fats spent the night in jail. He already had court today for the drunk drivining thing. and now the end of the month he has court for this. Sunday I went to John and David Shingle's house which was real fun. Martha left to go to Chimple's to party. And I had already had 4 margaritas and Molly had had 2 so T.J. came and picked us up. 5 min after being there David was already hitting on me. I had a long deep conversation with both Jazz and John. Jazz and me talked about Molly and me and John talked about the past. When the two of us were messing around. He told me that he was mad when I got together with Dan. And that he wishes/wished (I'm not sure) that he had a second chance. I wish I had gone out with him and not Dan. I keep thinking about him saying that. It wouldn't have worked out tho. At that time Molly was still in love with him, she never found out about the two of us. And even now I don't think I could go out with him cause of Molly. But it got me thinking. I was gonna invite him to sleep next to me cause he let me sleep in his bed and he slept on the couch with Jazz on the floor. But if Molly had come in and saw that she would have flipped. Well anyways I will write more I promise. But it's time for bed now. Goodnightie night Current Mood: surprised Current Music: satisfy you ~ by puff daddy ~ p diddy whoever! (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 25th, 2001
2:12 pm	Brown eyes ~ by destiny's child ~ the most beautiful song ever Remember the first day when I saw your face remember the first day when you smiled at me you stepped to me and you said to me I was the woman you dreamed about remember the first day when you called my house remember the first day when you took me out we had butterflies although we tried to hide and we both had a beautiful night The way we held each others hand the way we talked the way we laughed it felt so good to find true love I knew right then and there you were the one I know that he loves me cause he told me so I know that he loves me cause his feelings show when he stares at me you know that he cares for me you see how he is so deep in love I know that he loves me cause its obvious I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts and he's missing me if he's not kissing me and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul Remember the first day, the first day we kissed remember the first day we had an argument we apologized and then we compromised and we haven't argued since remember the first day we stopped playing games remember the first day you fell in love with me it felt so good for you to say those words cause I felt the same way too The way we held each others hand the way we talked the way we laughed it felt so good to fall in love and I knew right then and there you were the one I know that he loves me cause he told me so I know that he loves me cause his feelings show when he stares at me you know that he cares for me you see how he is so deep in love I know that he loves me cause its obvious I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts and he's missing me if he's not kissing me and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul i'm so happy so happy that you're in my life and baby now that you're a part of me you showed me showed me the meaning of true love and i know he loves me I know that he loves me cause he told me so I know that he loves me cause his feelings show when he stares at me you know that he cares for me you see how he is so deep in love I know that he loves me cause its obvious I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts and he's missing me if he's not kissing me and when he looks at me his brown eyes tells his soul He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul Current Mood: dads here how else should I be Current Music: none..... (Comment on this)
Friday, August 24th, 2001
1:36 am	forgot 1 thing Oh yeah Tiffany's friend Travis and his friend Corey decided they wanted to go out on a date with us. We flaked on them twice due to the fact Doug was coming up. Then because of that they flaked on us. But it was ok cause Doug showed up again and we couldn't go. I wanna go out with Corey on a date. HE's a fucking hottie! Nice body, great tan! beautiful eyes! well that was great goodnight! Current Mood: amused Current Music: Cheating ~ off the american pie 2 sound track (Comment on this)
1:18 am	lalalalalalala....... Well people. I have been extremely busy lately! I don't remember what the parting has been like except hecktic! I had orientation for school today. LAME! Things were going good... WERE! Then as we were going to KFC to harrass Sara I walk into my house and find out that my dad was on the phone. Mom hands it to me and says ur dads filing for divorce! I fucking went off on him calling him an asshole and asking him what the fuck he thought he was doing! He asked me if my life was that bad and I told him yes because of you! And I almost went into the fact that his drug problem was the reason that were in the situation we are. I fucking hate him! I told my mom that he'll be lucky if I ever talk to him again cause of what he had said. While I was talking to him he kept trying to talk me and I wouldn't let him get a word in. Then I said well I don't want to talk to you anymore and hung up! Then fucking Tasha shows up talking about her and Josh with Timmy and Timmy was talking hella shit. Saying that she deserves better and telling Tasha's mom that Josh stayed her and slet between me and Martha. He was tooo DRUNK to drive. And then Sissy Called and yelled at me about wanting to talk to Josh. She told us that if Josh didn't call her within 10 min that she was gonna call cps and have his kid taken away. And blaming my mom for the problems between Josh and Tasha. Saying your the one that let him stay here... blah blah blah! Now im sitting here with Jacob getting ready to go to bed. And I'm happy now cause a certain someone made an effort to say hi to me and it makes me feel special! And loved! Goodnight! Current Mood: loved Current Music: something from american pie 2 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 15th, 2001
11:35 pm	I haven't written in a loooonnng time!!!! I have been sooo busy lately..... I am constantly out with Martha (my pregnant best friend) lol. or Molly a lot. Thursday We went to Martin's party. Gawd was that lame. ABCDE!!!!! YaY for me. Me and Martha rode home with Shawn. I wasn't gonna go with Casey. I watched this guy Cameron get his ass kicked tho. This guy that's friends with Molly and Casey went with us and he decided he wanted to box Shawn. Bad Idea! Shawn takes kick boxing. after a couple of mins. all I heard was thump.... and Cameron was on the ground bleeding. I knew I didn't want to see that. Friday I kicked it at home I think. I don't remember the last few days that well tho. We have been going to the movies all the time tho. We went the other day to see American Pie 2 but we couldn't get in so we went to see planet of the apes again. no thank you..... So me Molly and Casey left. Martha stayed with Jean. Today I just sat around and did nothing really. I I did little run around things. I went with Martha to Tyson's and I walked with Tiffany to meet Travis. Tiffany has this crazy idea that me and her and Travis and his friend Cory are all gonna go on a date Friday. I don't think so. I just have this overwhelmong fear he'll look at me and be like eeeewwww gross. Then I'll have to run off crying or something. PPL around here are soooo mean. I get a new reason every day to hate ppl. they're fucking stoooopid. And I meet a new one to support my point every day. Gawd I feel so bad for Martha tho.... 16 and having to deal with all this shit. He mom and sister are sooo mean to her and that's not what she needs while she's pregnant. I look at her now... while she's asleep on my couch and think my little Martha's gonna be a MOMMY in 7 1/2 months. Dude Dan still calls me even after I told him about my *boyfriend* HE called me yesterday and asked me how me and what's his name is doing. Ummmmm yeah I didn't tell you a name. I wanna cuddle tonight. I miss having a boyfriend for that reason. but not Dan. Just someone who cuddles with me. I did finally get to kiss a guy tho. after 6 fucking weeks. Thomas.... I had a feeling he was gonna be the first. I just wanna see Scott tho. He is soooo great! But when we party it's on the week days and he has to work early. AND I ALWAYS see Tara at his house. Bitch! There has been sooo much drama lately I could just fucking explode. I am sooo lonely. I need to get away for a while. Vacation, leave for like a weekend..... any suggestions? Be with my friends.... and maybe a boy too. who knows.. bye Current Mood: lonely Current Music: the fan in my ear (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 8th, 2001
11:53 pm	People suck ass......... I am sooo fucking tired of people sticking their noses in other people's buisness! I mean @$#%*@& SHIT! There has been soo much drama lately! I'm watching south park right now which makes me happy! lol! BIG FLOPPY DONKY DICK! lol! Gawd I have to get on filling out that shit for the poetry contest. I really didn't want to enter but I did. Now I'm a semi finalist, which is neat. AND.... I'm gonna be in a book or some shit. I doubt I'll win or anything, cause shit, millions of ppl enter those things. I mean I like the poem. I wrote it when I was with Dan. It's cool. Well yesterday we took Martha to the doctors. Then we just hung around here forever. Fats was fucking supposed to chill with me and Martha last night, he flaked. So we did nothing, Martha went home. Today Molly came and got me, and we went and saw rush hour 2. It was a good movie. Then all day we have chilled. Fats and Paul and T.J. came over and chilled tonight, Fats is supposed to come back in a little while. Well I'm bored maybe I'll be back! Current Mood: bored Current Music: The song the devil sings from south park ~ up there~ (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 7th, 2001
3:06 pm	WoW I haven't written in a while.... Well, Saturday I was bored, no one could stay out. Martha was supposed to stay with me and we were supposed to go to Martin's But we had no ride. Then fucking Yazmina flipped out on us so Martha couldn't even stay out. So I sat there with Jimmy and Justin 4 a little while. When they left I started sreiously trying to get ahold of Casey and David (they had called me to come hang out with them). When I finally got the balls to call David's house, I knew Dan was there with Jon. Of course Jon answered the phone and told me that the guys had just left. Not 5 min later Dan called me from his cell phone Questioning me about my new *fake* b/f. A few min. later Casey and David And all the guys called me back. We were gonna go over to Molly's house and go swimming. David, Nick and Ryan then left to come pick me up. None of them have they're licence, David was driving and they got pulled over. So now David has to go to court. Then since they couldn't come and get me they told me to take a cab. That they would pay for it if I took a cab. So I took a cab over there at 1 in the morning. When I got there I was just chillen *u know being the only girl there and shit*. Then I got up to go potty. When I exited the potty David was standing there calling me to follow him into the back of the house. As I start to follow him I then hear "Whatcha doing?" *fuck* It was Ryan laying on the floor staring at us. Then, don't ask me how we ended up in this position, David was leaning on the arm of the couch, I was laying against him and Casey was leaning on me. The whole time David was rubbing my back. I had to be sneekie tho cause Casey has liked me for hella long and I feel hella bad flirting with guys er whatever around him. So me and David has make a sorta silent agreement to wait until everyone was asleep. So Casey go up and layed on the floor and I was getting excited. He started rubbing my stomache and the place on my waist that is right where my pants hit (gawd does that turn me on). I was Dieing. Then Casey got up. So me and David fell asleep and That was the end! He got up and left at like 8. And I left at like 10. But because Everyone live on that side of town I had to call Destiny from over here at Canace's to come pick me up. Sunday Me and Martha chilled here all day. I had to help mom look for something in the storage. Then Marthat left and went to the river with Minnie and Shawn. I was pissed, I wanted to go. Then James and Justin showed up and asked me if I wanted to go to the river. Justin was pissed cause Marthat had told him she was going to the store really quick and she's call him when she got back. He knew she was at the river with everyone else. So we went down there, Martha and Justin decided they just wanted to be friends (well Martha decided!. So we chilled at the river for a while and then went home to pizza and beer. Yesterday all me and Martha and Mina did was sleep. I slet till like 8:30pm and then went to bed at like 12. I woke up this morning and we took Martha to the doctor and we have been sitting here since then. Molly was supposed to call me and we were supposed to go to the movies. But it's nearly 4 and she still hasn't called. So were chillen here. I wanna get high. I am sooo fucking frustrated right now. I need a guy! goodbye! Current Mood: calm Current Music: Ricki Lake ~ doorbell music (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 4th, 2001
5:09 pm	blah...... where did I leave off.... Well, after Wednesday I was fucking tired. I slept till like 10:30 and Then I got up and got ready and Me, Molly, Alex and Jacob went to the Rollins lake. We came back and Went to roseville. Jacob and Tyler were supposed to come with us but NOOOOOO Casey had to go! blah.... We went and met Doug and got pot (me and Martha had been smoking all day). Then we went to the mall.... no guys. *cries* We smoked 3 blunts and many many bowls. Then when I got home mom told me Tyler hadn't called or come home. *he left at 10 and told my mom that he was going to grassvalley to visit some friend and go to the skatepark. At 10:30 that night he still hadn't called like he was supposed to and he hadn't called. So finally at noon the next morining he called and told my mom he had plans and couldn't come home. They fought, he hung up. He called back and somewhere in the process he told my mom that if she called the cops on him that she should tell them to take him to juvinile hall cause he would rather be there than be here. Little bitch then fucking go, I don't want him here anyways. So he got here at about 7 when he was supposed to be here at 5. He's grounded till he's 13.* So of course I couldn't go anywhere, like up to georgetown like I wanted to. So yesterday We woke up and took Martha to the doctor's, She's pregnant. She keeps changing her mind on whether she wants to keep it. I don't know what to do. I am sooo worried about her. She's only about 3 weeks along so she still has time. Then Molly went home. Whne she finally showed up again we were confirming our plans. We were gonna go get Corissa and then go to Doug's then go to the movies. But the movie we wanted to see was at 5:30 and Corissa couldn't leave till like 7. Molly got all pissed off and took off with martha in the car. I guess they went and got food and Marthat's clothes. Then we went and got Corissa cause 5 min after Molly left she said she could leave. We Went and saw Princess Diaries..... The new Disney movie. It was sooooo cute. Then after that we went and got pot and smoked the whole way home. When I got here Mom said Jimmy had called, Casey had called, David Shingle had called *yipes*, and Dan had called like 50 times. So I called Casey's house no answer. My mom said that his mom was in reno. I called what I thought to be David's cell phone # and got Ryan. They were all partying up at Casey's. So we agreed to go up there. Martin was having a party at his house *last one b4 his mom gets back* I think it would have been lame tho cause all the guys do is hunt in the dark with flashlights and a 12 guage. Blah..... So on my way out the door Dan called and I finally told him I had a b/f, cause you know I don't and everything but I wanted some peace and quiet. So when we got to Casey's David, Ryan, Scott *not the one I want*, and some wierd guy that Molly knew was there. We chilled till like 1:30 * I had to be home by 2 and they wanted to go to the store* LMFAO!!! tee~hee. David always pases out whenever we party. Even the night... um ya well you don't wanna hear about that :P. OMG! No one would shut up about what happened between me and David. SOMEHOW??? Everyone found out about that. Gawd. Casey's all David this is Bailey.... Bailey this is David.... Oh wait you two already know eachother. He thought it was hilarous. Me and David were soooo embarrased but I couldn't help but laugh. I had fun tho. My buddy left me after a while tho *Scott left*. By the time I left I was so fucking high I don't remember half the ride home. After I got home I went to sleep, well I tried anyways. Josh knocked on my door and said his friend has some weed to smoke but no pipe and wondered if we wanted to smoke. It was this cute guy that I met at martha's quincenetta or however the fuck you spell it. God he was here forever. I finally came downstairs and went to sleep. Well Molly and Casey left b4 I woke up Molly had to work at 9:30 and Casey had to work at 10:30. Me and Martha and Mina slept till like 2. YaY 4 us! Then Jean and Connor showed up. This wsas the first time I met Conner, He's really cute nowonder Martha liked him. But now Marthat and Mina are off talking to their dad Whose calling from prison. They said they'll be back. Hopefully soon to. I'm hella bored I think I'mna sleep while I'm waiting. Maybe someone will comeover and keep me occupied. Thomas, Scott, Whoever. Or even someone whose just a friend I can hang out with. I want the company of a boy. I'll write more later Maybe I'll go to a party, after all it is Saturday night. Maybe Casey will have another party at his house. YaY I love hanging out with him! byeeee Current Mood: ditzy Current Music: Ummmm dOO DoO dAaa Daa (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 2nd, 2001
4:03 am	LaLaLaLaLa.......... Gawd I'm tired, it's hella late. Jimmy and Justin just left..... no, Jimmy just knocked on my door. He wanted Justin's #. Yeah he just dropped him off at home, Durrrr. We chilled all night. lets start from the begining: Yesterday after Dan called me like 20 times (I didn't pick up the phone... thank god for caller id) I went out with Martha for the day. We ran around and hung out here outside. Then her fucking bitch mom wouldn't let her stay when she had already said she could. Minnie said he wanted to see me but they went to Maritn's.... so ummmm no. Fuck we were supposed to go but I wasn't going without Martha. So I chilled here, by my self. I hate Tyler tho. He's a bitch! I havent been able to stand him lately. Then Martha showed up this morning and they fucking woke me up to get me stoned...... bitches. Then I fucken slept all day. When I woke up I fought with Tyler somemore. Then we chilled with Justin for all day. Jimmy Josh and Tasha showed up. They took Tasha to work and came back here. Josh left and went home and Jimmy stayed and chilled with us. Minnie and Justin then showed up. Minnie I guess wanted to see me, er something....... Fucking guys all they want is one thing. Then Thomas showed up and he wanted to play.... But everybody was here. I hate it when that happens! I wanted to play with Thomas tooo.... I haven't played in over a month! But then I didn't even get to play with Minnie (If I can't have 1 I'll take the other). But everyone was here. I know he kept going outside to lure me out there.... But I was busy talking to ppl. I know Thomas will come by again like tomarrow. He was here yesterday while we were out on the grass, but we kinda ignored him so he left. but he knew to come by today. Now tomarrow I am supposed to go to the river with Molly, and I'm supposed to chill with Dan (another one who wants sex)(fucking faggot guys). But I think I'm gonna tell him I have a boyfriend so he leaves me alone. He calles me all the time. If I don't answer the phone He calls every five min. Well It's 4:30 I'm tired sweet dreams ppl. Current Mood: frustrated Current Music: ummmm the fan I guess (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2001
3:13 am	life sucks, ppl suck, God I hate it all!!! Well today was going good. I got home at like 10:15am, after 8 fucking hours in a car. A little tiny fucking 2001 mustang. With no fucking room in the backseat. Then Molly came over we went and saw the new Planet of the Apes. It was pretty good, tho I have never seen the first one. Well more than 5 min. anyways. Then I sat around here with Martha for a long time. when Molly got off at 12 she came over here and we strted drinking. Sometimes I hate being drunk. Like now is a perfect example..... I just got in a huge fight with my mom because I wouldn't let her say hi to a certin asshole I DIDN'T feel like talking to. Now because of that. I keep thinking of how much I miss being around guys. I just want to be cuddled right now.... I feel like I'mna cry. I would even take Jacob right now, Nothing on a sexual basis but just to be held. But he went back down to roseville. His mom signed papers today to award him to the courts. So he's running technically. The courts are putting him in a foster home. I don't want him to go. I'll miss him sooo much! He's like another brother to me, yet he's almost like a best friend...almost. More like a brother tho. Sometimes when were here he'll come and lay with me on the floor and well just cuddle. It's nice. I need that right now. Dan called me like 12 times today (litterally). He wanted me to come over. Gawd I feel like all guys want me for is sex.... And I don't give it up to just anyone. I want Scott, But Molly says she thinks him and Tara are back together,, Fuckin bitch. I am soo bitter right now. I wish I had someone to cuddle with! But all I have is me. And my bottle of SoCo which is calling my name... So I think I will drink a lil more and go talk to mom and fucking clear this shit up. She said fuck you to me. I can't believe it. Well drink more, go talk to mom, and then cry to myself if time permits it. I feel sooo alone and LONELY right now I could just die.... Bye Current Mood: drunk Current Music: some westly snipes movie (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 28th, 2001
10:28 pm	Mmmmmmmm....... Well today was kinda boring. We went up to jawbone to go riding. Dad went to instead of going to lancaster. All the men left us to go see someone, they were gone for like 2 hours. By that time no one was having fun so we packed up and left everything there. The Truck, the quads, everything. Lakas and me got sick, I still have a headache. Now I'm babysitting! Dad's birfday was today and Aunt Vanesssa's is tomarrow, so they went to the bar. I said I would watch the kids. So now I have to go, I wanna call my mom, and I promised the kids I would play life with them. Byeeeee Current Mood: crappy Current Music: the kids fighting~oh no....... (Comment on this)
Friday, July 27th, 2001
11:57 pm	look at this!!!! The romantic needs of a taurus (meee!): The Bull craves someone who is strong and practical, qualities they value in their own life. One who comes bearing gifts also wins, since Taurus is responsive to both material goods and sincere, heartfelt compliments. Making Taurus feel safe is a very smart strategy for their lover, for this approach will bring out the Bull's most sensual self. Think of the Bull as a rose waiting to be picked -- the lucky one will inhale the most intoxicating perfume. Beautiful people, as well as things, work as irresistible aphrodisiacs for those born under this sign. The Taurus lover is dependable and considerate, someone who wants to be in a beautiful world and have that special someone to share it with. Anyone lucky enough to enter that world will find a sensual soul waiting to be nurtured and explored. Current Mood: lonely Current Music: some cool song fron the american pie 2 soundtrack (Comment on this)
10:57 pm	Wow I finally get some meeee time!!!! Eiyiiyiii! I have been living in hell the last few days! When I got to my grandma's it was late so I went to bed. Then next day I went to my cousins neighbors b-day party. Dude was that lame! The kid is thirteen and he hangs out with a 7 year old.... My cousin. Cause he gets beat up by kids his own age....sad. Then we went quad riding. That's hella fun! The next day we went shopping I got new shoes and the shirt I have wanted for soooo long! and some other stuff. Then dad has been taking us to the bar with him so we're not sitting at grandma's being bored. We play pool all day... So I am perfecting my skill. YaY! Then we have reaally been doing nothing other than that. Quad riding and pool. Today we went shopping again, this time for cd's. Dad spent $226 on cd's today! ouch! Talk about a set back! I'm listening to Alien Ant Farm! Good cd. I'm staying at Aunt Vanessa's tonight cause we're getting up at like 6:30 tomarrow to go for an all day riding thing! Tomarrow is dad's birfday. Happy birfday to you... Happy birfday to you. Him and uncle asshole (Chris) are going into lancaster tomarrow. To supposedly go to the bank. Mom thinks they're going to a strip club er something oh well I don't fucking care. Dad has no quams about spending all sorts of money on me and Ty. I think he's trying to either convince us he's not an asshole or show up our Chicage trip. I hate my uncle Chris. I think he should die! All he does is talk shit to me. Yesterday while we were at the bar he said to me something like don't boss your dad around. I hate when ppl not my parents tell me what to do! I freaked out told him to shut up and started crying. Because of my birth controll I haven't had a period in 7 weeks and there for I have a little bit of backed up pms! When I started crying my dad freaked and spent like 45 mins trying to calm me down! He gave me permission to tell him to Fuck off er something. I never thought I would hear that from MY dad. All uncle Chris's stoooopid little coment make me seriously hate him..... Oh your still eating........ You can't go until your dad's ready cause YOU don't have a licence! Asshole. Then as were leaving, they've been there 3 hours, oh you got time for another game of pool? Ummm no! Dad was smart... he said no otherwise he would have really seen a pissed offf mee. I have wanted to kill Tyler lately tooo. We got into a fist fight at uncle Pete's house on wed. over who would sleep on the bed. Little asshole! I am soo lonely. the closest persom to my age is Kayla, Except Tyler and I wont talk to him, and she's 10. I miss being able to talk to my friends. I call my mom everyday! without fail! I freaked last night. After My HORRIBLE day I tried calling and the voicemail picked up on the first ring three times. Then I tried calling Molly and my calling card had been shut off. Then I was thinking "did my phone get shut off or something?" Turns out mom was one the internet, the voicemail is fucked up again, and the long distance (my calling card too) bill was due while we were in Chicago and So they shut it off. Well Today I found out that Doug's engine blew up in his car, so he got a jeep cherokee. Him and Jacob (oh how I miss Jacob too) got into a fight over what I'm not sure, and Doug kicked Jacob in the face. According to Tiffany there was blood everywhere and Jacob took off and no one has seen him in hours. I can't wait to go home, I miss everyone. Plus I hate my uncle. He's like 53 and lives with his mother. HE doesn't work, he lives off of grandma and he's a bitter surly old bastard drunk! Well There's not much more to tell, I'm gonna go now! Goodnight all I wuv and Miss you guys! Oh yeah and I hte a certin (sp?) asshole again, Aunya you should know who! PPL suck! Oh yeah I got a sticker that say I hate People! BYE! Current Mood: lonely Current Music: Staind ~ outside ~yuck the non live version! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 24th, 2001
6:41 pm	gaaaaawwwwwwwddddd Well I can't right long but I gotta get some time to myself. I have to talk about a lot of things. buuuuutttttt nooooooooI can't gotta go bye Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 21st, 2001
12:26 pm	OOOOOK Well I'm all packed up now. We're leaving at about 1. Opperation piss dad off is in effect. I haven't gotten to dye my hair but oh well. I have on tons and tons of eye make up! And lots and lots of glitter! He is gonna flip! Aunt Terry said that nothing gets on uncle Robin's nerves like lots of glitter so we're gonna try it with dad! I am not looking forward to this long ass flight! Oh well I have my new cd player to keep me company. I probably wont be updating much since the nearest computer is at Aunt Vanessa and Uncle Scott's house (same town but they work odd hours) So You wont have to worry about my loooong bring b/s entries well hopefully see you soon. I love you guys for those of you who I wont talk to. bye Current Mood: depressed Current Music: some music from the mists of avalon (Comment on this)
1:39 am	Well today was ok........ except the last hour! Today we went to uncle Robin's house to go swimming. I had fun, I haven't seen him in like 3 years..... or maybe 4. I dunno. Then after that we went and saw Jarassic park 3, it was the best one of the three! It was cool and I don't like any of the other ones. On the way there we saw this really hott guy at a stop light, While I was looking at him he started dancing in his car and looking at himself in the rear view mirror! LOL it was the funniest thing I have ever seen. He saw me laughing at him and started laughing too. So I gave him a *thumbs up* His friend in the car behind him saw me laughing too and was making fun of him also! It was sooooooo fucking funny! LMFAO! While we were looking for a seat I got cornered by this guy, he was really ugly, and he was hitting on me. luckily he asked me where I was form and I was like... Ummm I live in California, and I'm leaving tomarrow! Then after that Amanda wanted to see the fast and furious, so I went and saw that again. EVEN better the second time!!!! YaY 4 hottt guys and pretty cars!!!! When we got home I decided to start packing. I have to get up early so I can go gett he hair dye for my hair. Our flight leaves at 3:00pm. But right now everything has gone to hell! Amanda and Tyler are fighting. I went into her room to tell her Amber was knocking at her window and I find the two of them choking each other. Then when I pulled him off of her Tyler started calling me names! Fucking jerk! Things have been a mess. My new care bares shirt has a stain from being at Amber's, and my sandals are still there! I fucking want them back. Now Tyler is bitching at mom and really pissing me off. I just want to fucking kill people right now! It pisses me off how people blow things out of perportion! I really hate people! People talk shit and then the victims get pissed at other people. It's not like I was the one talking shit! Cotton candy is good tho.*pops another piece in my mouth* I have sooo uch rage right now I feel like snapping! But for some reason I can never get to that point, which I think would make me feel a lot better. I just can do it! I feel like I am the adult in my family sometimes and I hate it but what else can I do..... theres alway letting my life go to hell. Oh wait I don't have to let it, it's getting there pretty fine on it's own. *cotton candy is still there for me* yeah like I need anymore sugar. I will gain the seven pounds I lost right back! Well I have to go enter the new poem I wrote last night, now so if anything else horrible happens a little later I'll be back! Oh yeah I haven't even told anyone from home that I'm not coming home. It will have been 4 weekends I will have missed now! Everyone's gonna be soooo pieed at me! Current Mood: stressed Current Music: One minute man ~ miss-e elloitt (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 19th, 2001
10:46 pm	FUCK!!!! I am sooo irate that I'mshaking and I can't fucking seee straight!!!!! Things ahve fucking gone to shit once again! Everything. I don't think I'll go to grandma's I'll just do nothing the whole time and be 1 big fucking ray of sunshine. It'll be great.... especially when dad catches me smoking or I tell him whichever comes first. Or he catches me drinking... Gawd I wanna get drunk! Current Mood: predatory (Comment on this)